What if dating is about getting to know someone and gauging interest, not lifelong compatibility?
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He didn’t get necessarily smarter–he got more experienced. Sometimes we all need a little practice with figuring out what we really want–not in terms of our “ideal spouse” but a real flesh-and-blood human.
“Do you think Christian girls make dating too serious? “I need a buffer of at least five dates before I’m thinking of any future at all! What if you completely jettison the idea of finding your husband or wife via dating, at least for the first five dates?
Nicole Unice is the author of ÒBrave Enough: Getting Over our Fears, Flaws and Failures to Live Bold and Free.Ó (Tyndale, 2015) and travels frequently enough to almost feel like she can fly.
You must decide before you go on the date what your limits will be.
When we were still in college, my husband had 38 first job interviews before he landed a second one.
He was horrible at interviews, but by the 38th one, he had learned how to engage with good questions, talk about himself an appropriate amount and gauge interest from himself and the interviewer.
As my friend Lindsey, married and in her thirties, recently remarked, “I’m sure glad I wasn’t much of a Christian when I started dating my husband!
” Whether over coffee in my kitchen or on the hallowed ground of women’s small groups, I hear these murmurs constantly.
Of course, one of the biggest obstacles toward casual dating is the inevitable “ending.” So many of us equate kindness with never saying anything hard to anyone. Kindness is honoring someone in your treatment of them, but kindness is also honoring them by ending a dating relationship if needed. But the purpose of dating isn’t to just accumulate boyfriends or girlfriends—it’s to find a best friend and partner for life.