Don’t leave any daylight between exclusive and boyfriend. Sometimes, when women who are new at “sexclusivity” bring it up to their men, they say something like, “So I just want to make sure you’re not sleeping with anybody else right now.” The guy says, “Nope. A man isn’t boyfriend-worthy because you feel a real connection with him.
Just wait to see if he’s acting like a boyfriend FIRST; don’t treat him like one until he’s earned it. Practice sexclusivity (particularly if you can’t handle no-strings-attached sex)I’ve written about this extensively, so I won’t rehash the entire argument.
But, in short, if you are the type of woman who does not like the feeling of sleeping with a man when you have no idea whether he’s your boyfriend, STOP sleeping with men who are not your boyfriend.
It’s not particularly complicated, but, after years of giving this advice, I’ve discovered that it’s a) surprisingly controversial and b) surprisingly hard for women to execute.
So here’s the deal: if you like having sex based on mutual attraction, can easily separate sex from emotion, and have no real attachment to whether he calls you again, then, by all means, ignore this advice. And she thinks she’s following my script and holding out properly. Here’s what you actually say:“Hey, I’m really attracted to you and would love to sleep with you, however I don’t like having sex with guys who are actively looking for other women on ” And he’ll say, “Yeah, I get it.” And then you’ll say, “So, when we both figure out if this is a relationship worth exploring, you’re in for the night of your life. Once you both agree to give a relationship a shot, there’s some great sex in store.
But, we are technically not exclusive (meaning, we talked prior to sleeping together and said that we were both able to date others, if we wanted).
However, we talked more recently and we both said that we aren’t dating anyone else, but we didn’t explicitly say that we are exclusive.He still has his online dating profile up and checks it regularly (we met on the site).I trust him and know that he is being honest, but now that we have slept with each other, it makes me feel vulnerable and nervous. I am very happy (and he said that he is happy when he is with me) and like him the more I get to know him. He’s attentive (he texts and chats with me online every day), affectionate, asks me out regularly (we have seen each other multiple times every week since we met), and makes time for me (he has a lot of interests and activities).It’s the kind of thing that will be defined naturally by him calling you every day, spending every weekend with you, introducing you to his friends and family, and so on.