Also, thank you for taking the time to read this during work. Also if you’d like to take this opportunity to tell your female single co-workers about this blog, and ask them if they want to date me, I wouldn’t be mad. Fuck Eharmony.com, which I couldn’t believe was still available. Now the tricky thing about eharmony is, it takes two to tango.
If that’s the case, please scroll down like 2 inches (that’s what she said) and get those words off your screen. Other titles include: “Dear Eharmony, because of you I’m going to have to reproduce through mitosis” “Dear Eharmony, I just bought the domain name Fuck Eharmony.com, no seriously, I did”| “Dear Eharmony, you took my money, dignity, and self respect, and all I got was this lousy blog” It’s true, I actually did buy the domain name So the purpose, the essence, of this blog, is that my eharmony subscription is ending this month. This is my second stint on eharmony.com, this last stint I signed up for 6 months. At first it’s awesome you have matches sent to you, which you review and if you like you can proceed to step 1, which is you send them multiple choice questions.
There’s always a chance that she decides 5 months later, yep, todays the day I answer that guys multiple choice questions.
And me being a man of statistics and math, knows that even though it’s only a half percent chance she will actually respond, that’s half a percent chance for every single one of the 748 girls.
I know right, how ridiculous is it to be “communicating” with 50 different girls all at the same time, all waiting for them to respond. What’s most upsetting about this shenanigans is that I am waiting for 748 girls to get back to me, with stage 1 questions.
The multiple choice questions have to be picked from a provided list and the answers are already provided. Apparently girls need months and months before then can decide that they want to respond back to me with these tough hitting question?
That’s always kind of awkward when you’re supposed to be “working”. You’re going to continue reading without telling any of your hot female co-workers? I had some other titles in work for this blog, but they just didn’t capture the essence of what I was trying to say. A “computer” matches you up based on “29 levels of compatibility”, which I’m fine with. Because you’re thinking, wow some super computer down at Eharmony headquarters is crunching vectors and differential equations just to find my perfect mate, and everyday you log in and see new matches, that you think are hand picked from the computer gods above.
I mean, I feel bad if you’re at work right now reading this, and the biggest letters on your screen involve the words FUCK YOU. So after you completed their riddles and questions, you then can start receiving “matches”, hurray!
You don’t even notice that she hasn’t responded because your distracted by the new excitement of these new matches.
But then, you start realizing, wait a minute, no ones responding back to you.
So everyday since I’m up at midnight, I log in and get my 7 new exciting matches. That’s active, open, matches, that I’ve sent my multiple choice questions over to, and I’m patiently waiting for their response. In ADDITION to the 748 matches I am currently waiting for a response for, I have also 436 archived matches and 721 matches I’ve closed out. So you’re saying I matched on 29 levels of compatibility with almost 2000 women in San Diego?