I’ve accepted that I treated myself badly for a long time.
I take full responsibly for it, and I forgive myself.
Overall – at least on a conscious level – I believed the relationships and situations I had were actually good for me. One way this happens is for the partner with low self-esteem to sabotage the relationship, in the self-fulfilling prophecy way.
I’m happy that I mustered the courage to leave, and that I grew into the strong, self-confident woman I am today.
What I’ve learned from these experiences more than anything else is that self-love is key. Transformed me from a scared, insecure girl into a self-confident, happy woman. The more I learned to love myself, to less I wanted to hurt myself with toxic people.
If you can’t believe you’re good enough, how can you believe a loving partner could choose you?
Low self-esteem can make you test or sabotage relationships that have potential, or settle for relationships in which you’re treated in a way that matches your beliefs about yourself.
The end of every relationship allows you to say, “See, I told you so.
I’m unlovable.” More often than not, there is intense regret in the aftermath when you lose a partner this way.3.
As a result, a lot of our conversations lately involve at least one trivia about aeronautics, or a trick question about atmospheric pressure I can never answer.
Needless to say, I’m super proud of him for going after such a big goal, but more so I’m thankful for the challenge, and new learning this brings into our home.
The title of this post, controlled flight into terrain (or CFIT, usually pronounced cee-fit), is an actual thing. Low self-esteem can have different effects on your relationship.
In aviation it refers to but decided to stay three years anyway), and was struck by the element of control in the definition. In my case, because I had this huge lack of self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-love, topped with the belief that I wasn’t good enough (yeah, a wonderful combo I know!
You can’t believe you could be truly loved and so you test your partner every chance you get so that he can demonstrate his value (which you don’t believe or trust anyway).