‘I’m not really sure what to expect,’ I overhear a man say nervously to the woman sitting next to him.I can’t see him – he’s sitting behind a bookcase stacked with yoga mats – and I daren’t lean forward to peek – but I’m with him.But, if Tantra is really about connection and being present in the moment – giving your partner your full attention – I’m not surprised they have such a great time between the sheets.
The bold 50-something lady gives a frank ‘I want a lover’.
As does the late 40-something man that she towers over next to her. Despite the palpable nerves in the room, everyone seems to give an honest and straight answer. Am I meant to keep repeating the same thing over and over, or keep imagining up other lovely things to say about this complete unknown before me? You can opt out of any of the exercises but I don’t want to be ‘that’ person.
The men are handed empty pouches, each with a number on the front, which they too wear as jewellery for the evening.
With phones on silent and in bags, ridding us of that electronic prop we so often turn to in challenging social situations, we continue to bask a little longer in that awkward silence until Guy kickstarts the night.
As others step forward and place crystals and items of jewellery, I look on bewildered. We start by doing a school-like energy experiment, led by Guy, before going around the room, introducing ourselves and saying what we want to get from the evening.
The answers range from my ‘curiosity’, to one guy who was brave enough to admit he’s ‘here to find a partner’.
If you’re like me, the little you know about Tantra is informed by the much publicly-discussed sex life of Trudie and Sting, after Sting made a throwaway comment in 1990. And yet I remember it and can’t seem to erase it from my memory.
I might as well have walked in on my parents doing it.
Tantra Speed Date is the latest offering from Lauren Harkness and Guy Shahar, relationship and tantra experts and founders of The Tantra Institute.