The ultimate goal of most relationships in China is marriage.Young Chinese adults are often under a lot of pressure from the elders in their family to find a good husband or wife and get married relatively early.For a lot of Chinese people, serious dating starts after they’ve finished school.
Honesty and openness are important in any relationship – to get to know one another, to build trust in the relationship, etc.
But are there times when too much honesty can hurt the relationship?
Of course, these are all just generalizations, and they don’t apply to all Chinese people.
More than tradition, society, or culture, dating in China is governed by what the specific individuals in the relationship think and feel, and it’s not too hard to find Chinese couples that don’t fit all or even any of the general observations above.
This pressure is particularly acute for women, who can be called “left-over women” if they pass the age of 26 or 27 without finding a husband.
Men can find themselves similarly left-over if they wait too long to get married.(11%) Given that past relationships and past sexual experiences were at the top of the list, participants were also asked what reasons they had for avoiding that topic.Reasons were similar for men and women, and included explanations like…(click here to keep reading and find out how talking -or not talking- about these subjects can affect your relationship).Consider, too, the generational issue at play here: The lovely lady you’ve been crushing on’s parents and grandparents are the ones exerting that pressure to get married, even though she herself may not feel that she’s ready or interested.That's because her grandparents' and possibly (depending on where in China she is from) her parents still value marital stability above all else in their time, given the instability and volatility of their eras.In a recent study, 104 young men and women (mean age = 20) in romantic relationships (average about 1 year) were asked to “list all the topics they avoided in their romantic relationship” (Anderson, Kunkel, & Dennis, 2010).